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The internet can be a powerful tool for learning and social interaction. It’s also a place where your child could encounter dangerous material or people. Here are some tips to help your child enjoy the benefits of the internet while avoiding the risks.
Benefits of the internet
Children can benefit from the internet because it offers them more text-based information than other media. This can help improve a child’s reading and problem-solving skills. Some studies show that the internet can make learning more fun for young people.
Children can also benefit socially because they use email, chat rooms, forums and social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter to communicate with friends. Although, face-to-face communication is also important for social development.
Connected to the internet, your computer brings the whole world into your home – the best and the worst of what’s out there. Take a moment to think about how you would supervise your child if she was speaking face to face with the strangers who produce internet content.
Dealing with internet safety concerns
You can help your children use the internet safely by monitoring, protecting and teaching them, and by learning about the internet yourself. Learning to use the internet safely is like learning to cross the street. It takes time and careful guidance from trusted people such as teachers and parents.
You can monitor and supervise your child’s use of the internet in several ways:
- Talk with all family members about internet access. Monitoring works best if you are able to have calm and frank discussions with your child about his internet activities.
- Keep the computer in a shared family area. If possible, avoid putting it in a study or bedroom. This allows you to keep tabs on how long your child is online as well as what websites she is visiting.
- Together with your child, set up some simple and fair rules about internet use. For example, set a reasonable limit on the amount of screen time that your child is allowed. Discuss how these rules apply outside your home – for example, at a friend’s house or the local library. When your child follows the rules, remember to give him lots of positive feedback.
- If you have older children, it’s a good idea to have a written internet use agreement with them. A written agreement signed by both of you helps make rules clear.
- Your browser program contains a History button, which will allow you to see websites that your child visits.
- Find out if your child’s school has an internet policy and how internet safety is maintained there.
You can help protect your child while she is using the internet:
- Explain to your child that not all information on the internet is good, true or helpful. Explain also that some areas are for adults only and not intended for children to see.
- You can help your child identify unsuitable material by naming some things to look out for. For example, a site containing scary or rude pictures, swearing or angry words is probably not suitable.
- You can use a family-friendly internet service provider (ISP). You can also suggest safe search engines like www.awesomelibrary.org to your child and bookmark them for later use.
- Ask your child to let you know if a person he doesn’t know contacts him. Also, your child should tell you if he’s planning a face-to-face meeting with someone he has met online. In this case, he should ask an adult he trusts (such as mom, dad, older brother or sister, or another adult) to go with him. The meeting should always be in a public place, preferably during the day.
- Ensure that your child understands that people she meets and chats to online need to be treated with serious caution. These people could be pretending to be someone they’re not to gain your child’s trust. Some even pretend to be another child so they can exploit and befriend children.
You can help your child learn how to use the internet safely, responsibly and enjoyably:
- Focus on the positive aspects of the internet when you’re guiding your child. Spend time showing him sites that are fun, interesting or educational (and then bookmark them for later use). For example, you could help your child find some information he needs for homework.
- Encourage your child to question things she finds on the internet. When she finds a new site, she could ask herself questions such as, “Who is in charge of this site?”, “Have I found information or is this just opinion?” and “Is this site trying to influence me or sell me something?”
- Use an educational program specifically designed for your child’s age group.
- Empower your child to use the internet safely by showing her safe sites and teaching her why they are safe. It is also important to educate your child on why it is dangerous to give out any personal details online.
- Extended and frequent use of the computer can affect a child’s health and fitness. Encourage your child to engage in a range of activities that get him up and moving or that stimulate his thinking and creativity. For some ideas, read our articles on activities for younger kids and activities for school kids.
If you’re not familiar with the internet, start by learning about it yourself:
All you need is a basic understanding to help you supervise and guide your child. You can check out community resources such as your local library, community centre, Adult Education programs. Many of these will provide classes or further information.
Be reassured that you’re not alone if you find that your child knows more about the internet than you do. So why not ask your child for a lesson? This can be fun for both you and helps you understand just how much your child does know.
Unsuitable material - use a screening program or filter to block entry to certain websites. Filters are not 100% effective but are worth looking into. Many ISPs offer internet filters as part of their service. Buy and install a program that will block emails or web pages containing unsuitable key words.
If your child finds unsuitable material, discuss the material calmly. Let your child know how pleased you are that she is talking to you about it. Ask them if they come across material that scares them or makes them feel uncomfortable to tell mom, dad or a teacher.
Personal information - anything you put into a computer or text message could be shared and become public. It’s very important to check with mom, dad or a teacher before you give out any personal details to anyone, especially if you don’t know the person.
Rules and behavior - have agreed upon internet rules. If your child breaks the rules you can block your child’s access to the internet. An easy way is to remove the modem and attach it only when you can supervise.
Common concerns about children’s internet use
Access to inappropriate content
Children might be only one or two clicks away from violent, pornographic or offensive material (even accidentally), especially if there are no filters or monitoring software installed on your computer.
Also, some chat rooms can encourage inappropriate or harmful behaviour such as extreme dieting, underage sex or drug use.
Filtering programs are not completely effective. A resourceful child can sometimes find ways to get around these programs. Filters don’t screen what goes on in chat rooms. They can’t replace parental awareness and supervision.
Also, recent research tells us that ”server-based” filter programs (the kind your internet provider might run) are generally difficult to maintain. Their performance depends a lot on how they’re set up and fine-tuned. It’s worth checking the features of such programs carefully. You might need to add on extra features or programs.
Chat rooms and forums are lots of fun and great places to exchange ideas, but they can be risky. They allow people to interact anonymously, and age limits can’t be enforced.
The risk of stalking or child abuse over the internet can be avoided if you advise your children never to give personal information to or communicate one to one with people they do not know. Paedophiles have fewer opportunities to target children if personal information is not revealed.
Leaking of personal information
This is more of an issue for older children. It can occur by accident when children provide personal details on websites or to strangers they have met online. Risks include cyberbullying or identity fraud.
Online software that enables files to be swapped over the internet is a very attractive way for kids to share MP3 songs, videos and images for free. But sharing music and other files over the internet is against the law.
These kinds of file-sharing programs, often called “peer-to-peer” programs, also allow access to your computer by strangers who could introduce computer viruses or other harmful material.
Too much internet/computer use
Parents sometimes worry about their children using the internet too much . If a child is already shy or uncomfortable in social situations, that child might spend a lot of time online, withdrawing from family and friends. If most or all of a child’s interaction with friends is via computer – instant messaging, emails, chat rooms – this can affect the development of the child’s social skills.
© Raising Children Network Limited, reproduced with permission.
Resources & Links:
Media Smarts: Cyberbullying